I really love going to the movies, it is one of my favorite things to do with my wife. Going to see a movie in the theaters is an experience, larger than life screen, premium sound, really really expensive snacks. Okay maybe not that last part but you get the idea, its hands down the best way to experience a movie. But there are problems with going to the public movie viewing hall, usually it is your fellow man ruining things for you. So I present you with part 1 of an ongoing series called "Movie Theater HELL".
I have always felt in my heart of hearts that there is an unspoken rule about respecting your fellow human beings personal space. This rule applies more to strangers than friends, family and close acquaintances, but even with those you are close with it can be nice to have some space.
The basics of the rule is this:
When in a confined public area (space permitting) a person should always leave at least a single humans width space between them self and the strangers surrounding them. For example, if you are in a movie theater (unless the theater is so full there is not enough space to maintain one human width buffer) you will sit at least one human width away from strangers, so if sitting on a seat,there will always be at least a single empty seat between you and a neighboring stranger. The only circumstance when breaking the buffer rule is allowed is when space is insufficient to maintain buffer in which case you are forced to avoid the public social situation that doesn't allow for such a buffer, or you can just deal with the uncomfortable feeling of strangers invading your personal space.
Some people have no concept of personal space and the buffer rule. They are the bane of my existence. If I'm in a nearly empty movie theater and there are plenty of seats, these are the no good scum suckers that think its OK to sit in the the chair directly next to you, regardless of available seating.
There are a few ways to deal with such low and despicable creatures:
1. Ask them politely to move over one seat.
To be honest, this enforcement of the buffer rule rarely works. First, because the rule is unspoken and the person you are talking to has no concept of the rule. Try to explain the rule and most likely they will look at you like you are the crazy one (don't worry you are not, they are, there is plenty of room and no reason whatsoever the person should be sitting so close to you in this situation). They also like to act offended and will be less likely to move because, hey, its a free country and they can be a disrespectful no good piece of crap if they want to.
2. Lie and tell them the seat next to you is taken.
This is an excellent strategy in securing buffer space. But, you must have no shame. The main failure point in this strategy is a nagging conscience. You know no one is actually going to fill the seat, you feel bad about lying, and worst of all, you will get dirty looks, death stares and you will have judgment cast upon you by the scum you avoided sitting next to you when they inevitably realize no one is coming and you are a lying sack of shit. If you can get past these psychological barriers though this strategy has a very high success rate, 70% of the time it works every time.
3. Get up and move
This is 100% effective and what better way to enforce an unspoken rule than through a silent yet stern action. Actions speak louder than words and you will be giving the buffer-killer a lesson that could help them change their ways, flash them a dirty look, making sure to have solid eye contact using your death stare as you get up to move to a buffer friendly seat. Be sure to periodically make eye contact and roll your eyes at them, show 'em who's boss!
4. Invade their buffer
This guy just sat in the chair right next to you and there are plenty of buffer seats, it makes you uncomfortable, time to make them uncomfortable! Spread out in your seat taking as much space as possible, spread your legs (clothing permitted, this works better for men than women). Is there a shared armrest? Better believe you are taking it all! This may be effective but you have to almost completely eradicate any remaining personal space for it to be effective, ruining any remaining comfortable distance you may have had.
So there is no buffer...
There are many situations where space doesn't permit buffering, in these situations you may find aisle seats (if available) to be a good alternative since you will only have your buffer encroached upon on one side and you can sit leaning more towards the aisle to create a small additional space between you and the stranger next to you. If you are with friends/family/acquaintances you may find yourself more comfortable sitting directly next to one of these people rather than a stranger. You also have the option of leaving, but let's be honest, you're already here.
No comments:
Post a Comment